Dating After Divorce:
A Fun, Exhausting, and Infuriating Journey

by Jacqueline Harris

Dating after divorce is a wild ride. It’s like getting back on a bike – except the bike is on fire, you’ve forgotten how to ride, and you’re surrounded by a swarm of commitment-phobic dudes who may or may not already have a wife. But hey, let’s keep an open mind, right?

Welcome to the App Circus

If you’re diving into the dating world in 2025, you’ve likely met your new overlords: Hinge and Bumble. These apps promise to connect you with amazing, like-minded individuals, but in reality, they’re basically slot machines for attention. You swipe, you match, you get excited and then crickets. Or worse, an immediate “wyd” message from a guy whose profile pic is a gym selfie and a blurry fishing photo.

Men are Swiping on EVERYTHING

Here is a fun fact: men on dating apps are not carefully curating their selections. They are swiping right on anything with a pulse. If a potted plant set up a Hinge profile, it would get a date before I do. And that’s the reality when you finally match with someone, you’re likely option #5 (or lower). So don’t be surprised when they cancel on the date they planned. They probably got a better offer (or their wife came home early).

Ghosting, Gaslighting, and Guys Who Are Separated

Let’s talk about the married men. Statistically, at least 30% of the men messaging you are just looking for an escape from their current reality. You’ll know them by their vague relationship status (think: it’s “complicated”, or “Separated” but no official divorce). They will absolutely disappear without warning, and you’ll be left wondering if they got hit by a bus or if their wife just checked their phone. Spoiler: alert, it’s the latter.

And here’s the thing about “ghosters”, they always come back. Maybe it’s boredom, maybe it’s their ego, or maybe their latest fling just dumped them, but one day, out of nowhere, you’ll get that a “Hey, stranger text or Hinge message. And guess what? Now you have all the power. You can leave them on read, hit them with a dry who’s this?, or, my personal favorite, agree to plans and then ghost them right back. Nothing feels more satisfying than watching a grown man experience the same vanishing act he pulled on you. Karma’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it?

The Hot Muscular Selfie Kings? Yeah,
They Normally Just Want One Thing

Ah, the conventionally attractive, six-pack-having, smooth-talking men who immediately want to video chat. If you’re wondering what they’re looking for, its simple: sex. That’s it. They will charm you, they will text you just enough to keep you interested, and then the moment you hint at commitment, they will vanish faster than your ex’s contributions to the household chores.

It’s a Never-Ending Cycle of “So, What Do You Do?”

The mental exhaustion of dating is real. The never-ending loop of small talk is destroying my will to live. How many times can I possibly answer “What do you do for fun” before my soul leaves my body? My fingers physically hurt from typing the same responses over and over again. Someone, please, just come preloaded with my entire backstory so we can skip to the good part.

Dating with Young Kids:
The Olympic-Level Planning Event

If you have kids, dating is an entirely different level of chaos. Trying to plan a date requires the same level of coordination as a girls’ night out with five friends who also have kids, which means the date is happening in approximately three months if all goes well. Babysitters need to be scheduled, nap times need to be considered, and of course, your date will most likely cancel at the last minute, forcing you to question all your life choices.

Is It Even Worth It?

Dating after divorce is exhausting, frustrating, and often deeply unfulfilling. But it can also be hilarious. And exciting. And occasionally, you might even meet someone who surprises you.

So keep swiping, keep laughing, and most importantly, don’t take it too seriously. The right person might just be one bad date away. Or, at the very least, you’ll get some really great stories out of it.

Cheers to the chaos of dating after divorce!