restaurant anxiety

by Naomi Jedeikin

“Let’s go out for dinner.”

Scary words for those of us struggling with an eating disorder, triggering intense feelings of anxiety and dread. ‘How do I get out of this without being suspicious? Tell them I’m busy? Have plans? Have Covid?’

During the height of my ED, these were the instant thoughts spiraling through my head whenever a restaurant situation arose. Just reading a menu would send me into a tailspin of internal angst, as I stressed about portion sizes, meal prep, and foods I deemed “unsafe”. I quietly wrestled with counting calories and conjured up ways to counteract the meal afterward by restricting, purging, or over-exercising. Potential scrutiny from others, along with the perceived expectation to eat a “normal” amount, only intensified my guilt and shame.

The internal struggle was real, and massively debilitating, as I grappled with the overwhelming idea that I am not in control.

All while pretending to be OK.

It was suffocating, isolating, and highly anxiety-provoking.

So how did I navigate this necessary step in recovery?

SUPPORT

EMPOWERMENT

PLANNING AHEAD

CELEBRATING SMALL VICTORIES

TRUSTING THE PROCESS

support

Fostering a supportive dining environment is key. Being surrounded by encouraging people who understand the challenge can
alleviate some of the shame, guilt, isolation, and fear.

empowerment

Simply choosing the restaurant can be an important step at the beginning stages of recovery, empowering us to decide
for ourselves, rather than having the eating disorder decide for us. In doing so, we start to take back our power.

planning ahead

Looking up the menu ahead of time, thinking about what you would eat if you were fully recovered, and practicing positive
visualization can help.

celebrating small victories

There is a lot of re-learning in recovery, and while the process can feel slow and painful, celebrating
each victory, however small, can help us reconfigure our relationship with food over time. Deciding to eat at a restaurant is an
accomplishment in itself.